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Sleeping
as an Artform (sent in email)
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Kids say the Funniest
Things
NUDITY
I
was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when
a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was
stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old
shout from the back seat, "Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"
OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note
from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child
are not necessarily those of his parents."
KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During
her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to
answer the phone. "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right
now. She's hitting the bottle."
MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in The women's
locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with
ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched
in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever
seen a little boy before?"
POLICE
# 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I
was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and
down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered
and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed
help I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right,"
I told her. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward
me, "would you please tie my shoe?"
POLICE
# 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of
the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was
barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me "Is that a dog you
got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy
looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said,
"What'd he do?"
ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.
She was unfailingly intrigued by the various Appliances of old age,
particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her
staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself
for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered,
"The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she
saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't
wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always
gives you a headache the next morning."
DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister
heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently,
his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling
that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box
and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal
of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate
prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought
his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the
Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes." (I want this line used at my
funeral!
SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just
wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write
and they won't let me talk!"
BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he
fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the
Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an
old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what
I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With
astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's
Adam's underwear!"
Quinoa
Quinoa, the SuperGrain…but
how do you eat it?
Quinoa
Plant
Most people
conscious of their health or shop at health food stores have heard of
Quinoa, but it still remains an undiscovered grain.
Among
vegetarians, it contains all the essential amino acids to be a complete
protein. It’s high in magnesium and iron, and full of fiber.
So
why isn’t it all over the restaurant scene? Not a lot of people know
how to cook and serve it. By itself, it’s a bitter tasting bland version
of cous cous…at best. However, boiled correctly and dressed with some
tasty and healthful pairings, it can become a culinary treat…for your
taste buds as well as your body’s health.
If possible, choose organic quinoa for best nutritional results. To
boil, don’t follow a time constraint from some recipe that pretends
that all altitudes or stove temperatures act the same. Whatever amount
you decide to cook, place in a pot tall enough to hold double the amount
in water.
Because
quinoa absorbs so much water, I don’t season the water with salt, but
rather after it is done. Properly cooked quinoa should not be mushy,
but rather still individualistic. You will see little strands of what
looks like string (its outer hull lining) when done, which typically
occurs 10-15 min after gently boiling. original
article
Quinoa
contains a balanced set of essential amino acids for humans, making
it an unusually complete protein source among plant foods. (Wikipedia)
Salad
Recipe
Salad
recipe that is based off of 2 cups of cooked grain:
2
Tbsp Extra Virgin Olive Oil,
1 tsp raw minced garlic,
1/2 cup diced red onion,
1 cup diced bell peppers (variety of colors looks great),
salt and pepper to taste,
1/2 cup sliced celery, a pinch of dried oregano, a pinch of dried thyme,
and a teaspoon of red wine vinegar.
Toasted
Quinoa Salad
3/4
cup uncooked quinoa
1 cup diced carrots
1/2 cup chopped red bell pepper
1/4 cup minced parsley or cilantro
2 sliced green onions juice of 1 lemon and 1 lime (or 1 - 2 tablespoons
of each)
1-1/2 tablespoons tamari soy sauce
2 cloves minced or pressed garlic
1 teaspoon chili sauce (tobasco) (or use a pinch of cayenne, a few red
pepper flakes, etc.)
Rinse quinoa and drain. Put in a pot and dry toast until a few grains
begin to pop. Add 1-1/2 cups of water, bring to a boil, cover and simmer
for about 15 minutes, or until the water is absorbed. Remove from heat
and let stand for 10 minutes. Fluff with a fork and let cool. Mix carrot,
red pepper, parsley and green onion in large bowl. Add cold quinoa and
toss to combine, Whisk together lemon and lime juices, tamari, garlic
and chili sauce. Pour over salad and combine well. Chill until serving
time.
This
recipe can be fun. Try throwing in a few fresh raw peas, some fresh
raw corn, fresh sliced raw green beans, etc.
Walnut
Rosemary Quinoa
1
tablespoon sesame oil 1 small onion
1-1/2 cups quinoa, rinsed in boiling water and drained
1 small red bell pepper, diced
3 cups water
1 tablespoon
Tamari soy sauce (or to taste)
1 teaspoon fresh rosemary or 1/2 teaspoon dried 1 cup fresh or frozen
peas, thawed if frozen
1/2 cup walnuts, chopped
Preheat
oven to 350. Heat oil in a medium saucepan; add onion and quinoa. Sauté
over medium heat, stirring constantly for about 3 minutes. Add red bell
pepper and sauté an additional 2 minutes. Add water, soy sauce, rosemary
and peas (if using fresh peas). Bring to a boil and cover; simmer 15
minutes or until water is absorbed. Meanwhile, roast walnuts in 350
oven for 5 to 10 minutes. When quinoa is cooked, turn off heat and mix
in walnuts and frozen peas (if using frozen peas). Let sit an additional
10 minutes and serve.
http://chetday.com/quinoa.html
Quinoa...get
your protein in a GRAIN!
Holiday
Safety Tips Holly, Jolly and
Oh-So-Safe!
Of
course you want to include your furry companions in the festivities,
pet parents, but as you celebrate this holiday season, try to keep your
pet’s eating and exercise habits as close to their normal routine as
possible. And be sure to steer them clear of the following unhealthy
treats, toxic plants and dangerous decorations:
O
Christmas Tree
Securely
anchor your Christmas tree so it doesn’t tip and fall, causing
possible injury to your pet. This will also prevent the tree water—which
may contain fertilizers that can cause stomach upset—from spilling.
Stagnant tree water is a breeding ground for bacteria and your pet could
end up with nausea or diarrhea should he imbibe.
Tinsel-less
Town
Kitties
love this sparkly, light-catching “toy” that’s easy to bat around and
carry in their mouths. But a nibble can lead to a swallow, which
can lead to an obstructed digestive tract, severe vomiting, dehydration
and possible surgery. It’s best to brighten your boughs with
something other than tinsel. No Feasting for the Furries By now you
know not to feed your pets chocolate and anything sweetened with xylitol,
but do you know the lengths to which an enterprising fur kid will go
to chomp on something yummy? Make sure to keep your pets away from the
table and unattended plates of food, and be sure to secure the lids
on garbage cans.
Toy
Joy
Looking
to stuff your pet’s stockings? Choose gifts that are safe. Dogs have
been known to tear their toys apart and swallowing the pieces, which
can then become lodged in the esophagus, stomach or intestines. Stick
with chew toys that are basically indestructible, Kongs that can
be stuffed with healthy foods or chew treats that are designed to be
safely digestible.
Long,
stringy things are a feline’s dream, but the most risky toys for cats
involve ribbon, yarn and loose little parts that can get stuck in the
intestines, often necessitating surgery. Surprise kitty with
a new ball that’s too big to swallow, a stuffed catnip toy or the interactive
cat dancer—and tons of play sessions together.
Forget
the Mistletoe & Holly
Holly,
when ingested, can cause pets to suffer nausea, vomiting and diarrhea.
Mistletoe can cause gastrointestinal upset and cardiovascular problems.
And many varieties of lilies, can cause kidney failure in cats if ingested.
Opt for just-as-jolly artificial plants made from silk or plastic,
or choose a pet-safe bouquet.
Leave
the Leftovers
Fatty, spicy
and no-no human foods, as well as bones, should not be fed to your furry
friends. Pets can join the festivities in other fun ways that
won’t lead to costly medical bills.
That
Holiday Glow
Don’t
leave lighted candles unattended. Pets may burn themselves or
cause a fire if they knock candles over. Be sure to use appropriate
candle holders, placed on a stable surface. And if you leave the room,
put the candle out!
Wired
Up
Keep
wires, batteries and glass or plastic ornaments out of paws’ reach.
A wire can deliver a potentially lethal electrical shock and a
punctured battery can cause burns to the mouth and esophagus,
while shards of breakable ornaments can damage your pet’s mouth.
House
Rules
If
your animal-loving guests would like to give your pets a little extra
attention and exercise while you’re busy tending to the party, ask them
to feel free to start a nice play or petting session.
Put
the Meds Away
Make
sure all of your medications are locked behind secure doors, and be
sure to tell your guests to keep their meds zipped up and packed away,
too.
Careful
with Cocktails
If your celebration
includes adult holiday beverages, be sure to place your unattended alcoholic
drinks where pets cannot get to them. If ingested, your pet could
become weak, ill and may even go into a coma, possibly resulting in
death from respiratory failure.
A
Room of Their Own
Give
your pet his own quiet space to retreat to—complete with fresh water
and a place to snuggle. Shy pups and cats might want to hide out under
a piece of furniture, in their carrying case or in a separate room away
from the hubbub.
New
Year’s Noise
As
you count down to the new year, please keep in mind that strings
of thrown confetti can get lodged in a cat’s intestines, if ingested,
perhaps necessitating surgery. Noisy poppers can terrify pets and cause
possible damage to sensitive ears.
from the ASPCA
Don't
Forget the Strays this Holiday Season
If you can't
adopt, please consider donating so that
Animals
Can't Talk can help even more from the severe winter weather.
Thank you
so much!
All
Donations are Tax Deductable
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